Conscious Uncoupling, Conscious Dating, Conscious Living

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A few years ago, the phrase “conscious uncoupling” fell into vogue when Gwyneth Paltrow and her ex-husband, Chris Martin, coined the term to refer to their amicable divorce.

Now, I’m seeing the phrase “conscious dating” come up a lot. When I was single, I think I consciously dated. It’s just what many people do, right?

So I began to wonder why we have to put a catchy label on just being a good person?  Being kind, considerate, respectful – these are not fads. They’re universal, evergreen ways-to-be, right?

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Recently, I read an article on DailyOm about how the act of dating doesn’t have a great reputation. The article referenced stereotypical situations like dull conversation, awkward silences, and ghosting (unreturned texts or calls), which unfortunately do happen – but does that mean dating is overall a negative act?

It got me thinking that common human kindness should be the rule for any personal interaction – even if the person turns out to not be your dream-come-true. Why isn’t this the automatic state for all of us?

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Truly, ghosting should never happen. If we have any shred of character, why not send a quick text saying, “It was nice to meet you, but I don’t think I’m interested in going out again.” It’s clean, to-the-point, and honest.

That’s what I’m going to call Conscious Living. Making a decision to approach each day with mindfulness, pledging to be kind to every person who crosses my path, sharing my honest intentions in a transparent manner.

With dating, especially after a divorce, that means being forthright with your age and who you are. Not trying to create a bravado or facade on a dating app to snare more interest. Because in the end, who we are shines through, no matter what masks we don or false profiles we create.

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True love comes from being vulnerable and honest. The DailyOm article described conscious dating as “becoming curious – about who you are, what motivates you and what your soul most deeply desires.”

That feeds right into my definition of Conscious Living. We get one chance at this life; why not make the most of it?

Deciding to divorce and put yourself out there again, with the hope of finding a partner you’re better suited for, does not signify failure. Divorce is a transition from one stage of life to another. The marriage you end was not a failure; it served its purpose for as long as it survived.

Once we change our perspectives, and stop being so hard on ourselves, we will have a better chance of finding happiness, and success.

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